


First Times

by cupidty11



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Biology, DIb is very patient, Dib is 24 here, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, I try to be funny, Kissing, M/M, More tags to be added, Mutual Masturbation, Not really edited, Other, Past Brainwashing, Sex Talk, ZIM is a literal alien and time is funky for them bc they're basically immortal, ZaDr, and cares for him a lot, mostly sexy tags probably, time is weird and stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-04 15:26:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11558058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupidty11/pseuds/cupidty11
Summary: Zim and Dib have been together for a while. And they're moving in slow motion, working past the damage done by an empire where something as simple as touch, as comfort and love, are punishable by pain and death. But, Dib is patient and he knows Zim is worth it.





	1. Touches and Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is a short thing. I broke it into three because it feels natural to do it that way. One part touching and kissing and the next is altogether much less innocent but, still as sweet (I hope). I feel like the Empire would be the type to forbid any kind of softness or thing that might make them 'weak'. Plus, its not like they HAVE to have any kind of romance or sexuality since they're all made in tubes.  
> But, its not exactly easy to completely get rid of those kind of instincts.

They were trapped in the car again.

After nearly spending four hours investigating the surrounding area for any traces of werewolf activity, they’d been rudely interrupted by a torrential downpour of rain.

What had once been a sunny spring day was suddenly nothing but horrible, “Horrible rain.” ZIM grumbled, arms crossed over his chest.

Lucky they hadn’t parked far. The drops hit the windshield, loud enough to drown out the music playing from the radio. Even inside the vehicle, he felt his skin crawl with the remembered moisture.

“Oh stop whining. You’re fine.” Dib said over the din, as he fiddled with his stupid cellular device.

Zim glared at him. “It is easy for you, Dib-beast! Had I been out in this another ten minutes, my flesh might have melted from my bones. Then where would you be, hmm?” ZIM, turned away from the human to glower out the window. “No partner. No friend. No...whatever. Nothing.” The water outside ran down the glass in rivulets, making the world beyond, wax and wane.

There was a remembered fear in his chest. An instinct that said he was not far enough away from this.

Dib sighed and put his cell up on the dashboard. “Right.” And then he felt a bit of guilt because he should’ve checked the weather better. Should’ve been watching the skies more closely. He could see how Zim held himself, tense with anxiety. Dib reached out, wrapped a big hand over the back of the irken’s neck. He ignored how Zim jumped at first, instead doing his best to knead the worry from him. “Sorry.” Was all he could say.

Zim only remained tense for a few more seconds before he gave into it. Relaxing into the touch. “‘S alright. Zim forgives you.”

Dib felt the same thrill he always did when Zim allowed this kind of touching to go on. It thrummed in his blood, and tasted like victory in his mouth. It had taken...months before Zim stopped jerking away at any gentleness. Weeks of him warily allowing the touches, stiff with confusion the entire time.

He knew it was probably demeaning and stupid, but Dib couldn’t help but be reminded of a wild beast being slowly tamed. When in fact, it was so much more complicated than that. An alien who was part of a species that forbid and brainwashed and threatened death (or worse) for something as simple as comfort or love.

Zim’s skin was ridiculously soft. It reminded him of a smooth stone in its texture. But, it was warm (cooler than his own skin, however) and he could feel the thrum of life beneath his fingertips.

Dib kept the simple, massaging motion until...yes. There it was. The low purring noise, he knew was coming from deep in Zim’s throat. Occasionally getting loud enough to form soft clicks. His own heart beat faster in response.

The feeling of victory increasing ten fold until he seriously wanted to jump on top of the roof of his car and crow with the knowledge that this little touch starved, uncertain, ex-evil moron was practically putty under his fingers.

He settled for grinning like an idiot.

* * *

 

The two of them had no choice but to slow to a stop.

Well, Dib stopped and Zim ran into him, crashing against his back and nearly falling to the pavement.

The human growled in frustration as the tramway cut in front of them with a loud rushing and warning beep, effectively stopping the chase. It was only 30 seconds but by the time it passed, there was no sign of the suspect they'd been tailing.

Dib shoved his hands into his hair, yanking. “Are you kidding me?!”

ZIM was panting next to him, disguised eyes searching the crowd before he gave it up as a loss. “That was your fault.” He said, matter of factly.

Dib whirled on him, actually astounded. “Are _YOU_ kidding me?!” His breathing was still all choppy with adrenaline. He was annoyed they’d lost their only lead on this case and now here was ZIM blaming _him_ for it.

Zim sniffed, turning his face up, or at least he made the sound like he was sniffing. He did it through his mouth like a weirdo. “Why would I be ‘kidding’ about that? You,” he poked the human’s chest, unaware of the building rage. Or maybe he was aware and just didn’t give a fuck. “Were too slow.”

Dib’s nostrils flared. “So I should’ve just ran into people is what you’re saying? I should’ve just,” He punches his own palm in a demonstration of the carnage. “Mowed down grannies and ladies with babies and people in wheelchairs and wa--”

“Blah Blah Blah!” ZIM made a mocking talking noise with his hand, shoving it into Dib’s face. A face that was becoming quite red. “I am SAYING that you were too slow!”

“You were right behind me the entire time!” Dib tried not to scream, clenching his fists. It was against their truce to punch each other, he reminded himself. Zim was so, so annoying. With his stupid voice and his barely out of breath insults. Zim whose face was barely flushed with the effort of racing across town. Zim whose eyes were half mast, unimpressed. Lower lip pouting, as if he couldn’t understand why he was being yelled at.

Zim scowled. “You told me to watch your back. I am doing so. That is my job,yes?” He waved the argument away, dismissively. The other hand was on his hip. God his hips. They weren’t natural. They weren’t fair. Dib felt something building in his chest. It bubbled and frothed with unshed emotions.

“God, you’re so--I can’t believe--Argh!” He grabbed the irken’s shoulders and yanked him forward until their chests met, bending his neck to smash their mouths together in a very upset kiss. It was either that or throw an elbow into that unfairly ethereal face. He was so fed up. So bursting with anger and desire and--

Zim was incredibly still, stiff shoulders. Dib’s eyes shot open and he jumped away as if burnt. He pressed a hand to his mouth. His lips felt like they had come in contact with something toxic. It didn’t hurt. But, it was tingly and numb and...he was afraid to look up from the spot on the sidewalk and see the irken. But, Dib had never been a coward.

Zim was still upright and stiff. Like he was standing at attention to a drill master’s command. Except his eyes were very wide, his lips slightly parted. Any flush on his face had faded, leaving him looking rather pale actually.

Dib swallowed and forced himself to relax. “I...sorry.” No response. “Uh...Zim?” He cautiously took a step forward. God. What was wrong with him? Dib wanted to wait for the tram to come around again so he could throw himself in front of it. “I just got so mad, you make me so crazy...I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

His mouth was dry, afraid. Afraid. He was afraid. Afraid that he’d ruined everything between them in one fell swoop. With one stupid, angry kiss that could hardly even be called that, he’d effectively destroyed any trust between them.

Zim suddenly seemed to shake himself and pressed a hand to his own mouth. His eyes were frantically looking around, as if waiting for someone or something to come for him. And maybe on Irk...maybe, that would’ve happened. Maybe they’d be separated and never allowed to see each other again. Maybe they would have any memory of this erased. Maybe they’d be tortured while it played over and over again to create some kind of automatic revulsion. Maybe one or both of them would be killed because of it.

Dib ran a hand over his face, feeling stubborn stubble. “Zim...” he ignored how weak his voice sounded. He wanted to grab the irken and hold his hands, wanted to soothe him, comfort him but, knew that it would do more harm than good. “Can you talk to me, please?”

The irkens eyes suddenly snapped to him, roved over him for a second before he dropped his hand and straightened up. “It...it's fine.” He didn’t sound entirely convinced.

But, Dib nodded. “It is. It’s fine, Zim.” No one would be coming for them. No one would hurt them. He watched the alien lick his lips, then shudder.

Zim wrapped his arms around himself, looking deeply conflicted. “Dib.” The human waited. “You...you kissed me.” It wasn’t a question but, it nearly sounded like one.

Dib swallowed, throat dry. “I, I. Yeah. I did. Sorry.”

Zim hugged himself, tighter. “Why?”

“Why?” Dib wondered. No response. Just Zim looking confused and alone. He sighed. “Like...why did I kiss you? Or...?”

Zim shook his head. Nodded. Then shook it again. Dib felt mildly relieved. Zim was back to be slightly annoying. People roamed around them, going in and out of stores and restaurants. They were a blur. He blew out a breath and decided to just...talk until Zim was unable to not stop him. Zim loved interrupting him.

“I was mad. I said. Uh, you drive me crazy. Always have. And you were just, you’re just so frustrating. But, also, I guess? I guess, I find you...like,” Dib cursed himself for being so awkward. “Really attractive? I mean, you’re green and not human. But, that's never actually...well, maybe when you first got here. I was like, ‘ _weird ugly alien_ ’. But, it wasn’t even long after that when I noticed all kinds of things about you that I found to be...pretty. And even if I didn’t, it's just...you. I guess? You know this. I mean we’ve been...us. For a long time now.”

Over a year now, officially. And nearly a year, unofficially before that.

“This is just...me? Humans sometimes kiss people they, they...desire? Want? I don’t know the right word. It’s a silly thing we do. We find someone attractive and we just want to press our mouths all over them.” Dib was sure that his entire face was bright red. “So, I guess it was just like the emotions of being so mad and also knowing that I want you so much that it made my brain overload and I completely forgot that I shouldn’t...that I should take this slow. That you might not want...might not _ever_ want that."

"But, I was going to wait. I was going to wait and ask you if you wanted it and it was going to be slow and soft and safe and not, not some angry impulsive _THING_ in the middle of a fucking crowd of people, right? I didn’t want...this.” He gestured to Zim standing, still stiff, still wide eyed and probably confused and afraid of some unforgotten knife hanging over his pak. “So, I’m sor--”

“Please shut your mouth hole for once in your life, Dib.” Zim snapped, but there was a distinct lack of heat in it. Rather than being upset, the human actually felt something inside his middle unwind.

“Right.” Dib said, relieved.

Zim gave a heavy sigh as he took a step closer to the human. “You...you want this.”

Dib’s brow furrowed. “This?”

Zim made a sound of frustration. “ _THIS_. K-kissing. Me.”

Dib blinked and shuffled from foot to foot. “Uh. Yes? But, not, not if you don’t want it. Obviously.”

He let the irken study him intently for a second before watching him look back out on the crowd. “Okay.”

Dib blinked. Replayed the conversation in his mind again. “Er. Okay?”

Zim turned to glare at him. “Yes. You can kiss me.”

It was his turn to search the irken’s expression for hints, clues, searching for pieces of him to fit the puzzle. He found many things. Uncertainty. A hint of that fear. But, also curiosity.

The sky was darkening around them and the orange unnatural lights played over him, making him look strange and soft and Dib was hit, as he always was, with emotion. Only Zim ever made him feel like he was full. Not just a cold amalgam of apathy and inquisitiveness for the dark and restless. But, happy. Like he could do anything. Patient. Adoration. Like fate had decided the two of them, galaxies apart, two different species, but so similar...should meet.

Dib reached out, careful and cautious, pressed his hand against the irken’s jaw, his neck. Ran his thumb back and forth across his cheek. Until the glare in Zim’s eyes faded, until his tension left him. He leaned into the human’s touch, eyes closing.

The tramway ran by them, with a loud rushing and warning beep.

* * *

 

Dib kissed Zim. He did it over and over again. Never twice in one day. And only when Zim was obviously relaxed, warm and pleased.

The first several times, he went rigid and uncertain, almost fearful. But, over time he simply let it happen. Dib could tell he was drinking in the sensations, cataloging the feelings he felt. The human always kept it chaste and quick, careful and soft.

He often caught Zim touching his own mouth, licking his lips afterwards.

The irken never kissed back.

Dib didn’t mind. Mostly. He knew it was new and difficult for him. But, he also couldn’t stop his dreams that taunted him with what-ifs and hazy desire. Of serpentine tongues and sharp teeth. He firmly shook them away as far off fantasies. He was so lucky that Zim was even allowing this, that he didn’t seem completely repulsed. Dib was incredibly grateful.

* * *

 

 It was his 24th birthday.

And surprisingly Zim had remembered it. He got the feeling that time was incredibly inconsequential to irkens. The passing of a year, insignificant and not a reason for celebration.

But, Zim woke him up at midnight, by flopping on top of him, all short limbs and softness.

A mouth close to his ear and a whisper. “Wake up, stink beast. You have lived another year. Congratulations.”

Dib stiffened in surprise at being awakened so suddenly before he relaxed. He grumbled, wrapping an arm absently around the intruder. “You closed the window, right? I only like one bug in my bed.” He laughed sleepily at his own joke while Zim used him as leverage to lean over and slam the window shut.

“Shut up.” Zim scolded, collapsing back on top of him and leeching his warmth. “If you are implying that I look like a bug I will not give you your present.”

Dib finally opened an eye, squinting up at the faint outline of the irken. He was illuminated faintly by the streetlamp outside. Big, pupiless ruby eyes glowed faintly. Antenna perked, waiting for his response. He was making a very subtle clicky noise that meant he was very pleased with himself.

Dib shut his eye again. “Nope. Not bug like at all.”

A pointy elbow dug into his ribs. Dib bit back a yelp.

“You think I can not comprehend your sarcasm. You are foolish!” Zim hissed.

The human quickly flipped their positions so that he was pinning the irken into the mattress. Said irken, let out a displeased growl.

“Do you realize that not only is it my birthday, it is also,” He glanced at the clock on his bedside table. “,fucking 12 at night? Zim, what the hell? And you’re waking me up, then torturing me with your sharp ass elbows?”

Zim squirmed under him, managing to break his arms away enough to press his hand against the human’s face with enough pressure that Dib gave in and let himself be pushed off, falling to the side.

Zim grinned, as he climbed back on top. “Hush. You complain too much.” Dib rolled his eyes. He was well and truly awake now. Their proximity was, as always, distracting. He felt his heart kick up a notch. “Do you not want your present?”

The human raised an eyebrow. Now that he was awake, he was able to be properly impressed that Zim had remembered his birthday. He was also slightly wary of what kind of present he might be on the receiving end of. “Sure? As long as it doesn’t kill me or cause bodily harm.”

Zim scoffed. “Shut up. I know you dislike such things.” He sat up, still straddling the human’s hips and reached behind him to the foot of the bed for a small package. He shoved at Dib’s chest. “There. Part one.”

Dib grunted and shoved the irken off him so he could sit up properly and flip on the side table lamp. Zim settled, cross legged across from him, watching eagerly as he observed the nicely wrapped package. It actually had a bow on top of it. Dib glanced at the irken one more time, not bothering to hide his suspicion before tearing into it.

It was a mug.

Dib raised an eyebrow as he lifted it out of the box. He looked at the words printed on the side.

 ** _‘World’s Biggest Head_.’** It read in cheerful black letters.

He glowered at the irken. His best friend. His boyfriend. “I hate you.”

Zim cackled and clapped, gleefully. “And it’s true!”

Dib rolled his eyes and put the mug on his bedside table. “Did you wake me up for this?”

Another package was shoved into his lap. “Part two!”

This one was larger and much heavier. Nearly a flat rectangle. But, just as neatly wrapped. He opened it with a bit more trepidation. Inside was a sleek black casing, he carefully lifted it out and realized it was a laptop. His lips parted. “What...?”

Zim eyed him, seeming caught between nervousness and glee. “It’s a new laptop. You’ve been complaining about your old one and I know you’ve had it since forever and didn’t want to buy a new one since you basically hand crafted it yourself.It’s similar to your old one. Works and acts the same. I even transferred everything to it. But, I updated basically everything else about it. It’s able to hold much more data. Four times as much, as a matter of fact because I'm brilliant. And it has some of the programs my technology does; translation, tracking, voice recognition, encrypti--”

Dib had already leaned forward and pressed his mouth against the irken’s. He did as he always did. Kept it chaste and swift. But, he tried to pour as much gratitude into it as possible. He moved away a few centimeters. “Thank you.”

It was one of the best presents he’d ever been given before. He was itching to turn it on and give it a run. It was heavy and perfect in his lap.

He watched the irken’s eyes widen, heard his breath catch. “You...you’re welcome.” It came out nearly a whisper. Between them, the air was warm and outside crickets chirped.

Dib swallowed, unable to drag his eyes away from the irken. He wondered if he could press his luck and go for another kiss. He bit his lip. _To hell with it_. It was his birthday. He moved forward again, the few inches to press their mouths together again. He sighed against Zim’s unmoving mouth and went to pull away.

Except, as soon as he tried Zim closed the distance again.

Dib felt his heart skip a beat, barely able to stop himself from gasping. And he felt it. Zim’s lips moving against his own. Barely there, unsure. But, real.

Dib didn't know if he wanted to cry or go to the window and yell into the sleeping neighborhood that this was happening.

He settled for leaning into the kiss more, letting the irken clumsily control it.

Zim’s breathing was shaky, as if he was scared but they kissed and kissed until their breaths came in sync and only then did Dib gently pull away. He leaned their foreheads together, hands coming up to brush along Zim’s upper arms.

“You okay?” 

Zim nodded, antenna falling into the human’s hair. The softness of it, the faint smell of Dib’s shampoo...Zim felt something inside himself give. Like a ancient wall, finally falling over. Like a long forgotten instinct buried beneath technology and fear awakening.

He gave a shaky breath and didn’t stop himself from shoving the computer to the side and crawling into the human’s lap in its place. Just safety. Just to feel big warm arms wrap around him.

Nothing bad happened. It was okay. It wasn’t wrong. It was Dib. It was them.

He sighed and soaked up Dib’s heat. “Part three.”

Zim didn’t need to open his eyes to see his human smile.


	2. An Experiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If there was such a thing as kissing experts they would probably give the two of them a firm 2/10 for technique. It was too teethy, too much tongue, too fast or too slow. Their only true practice had been with each other. But, neither minded the messiness. It was intense and slightly gross, which was pretty much their relationship in four words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so. I, nor Dib, think that asexual people are broken. But, that is a pretty common Thing that many ace people believe about themselves. Which is absolutely not true. But, Dib did struggle with the idea that maybe he was broken. He already had a bunch of sad ideas about himself since he was classified as a failed experimental clone of his father. He probably wondered if this was just another part of himself that was wrong. 
> 
> Dib in this story is Demisexual. I don't know if he's personally labeled himself this way or not. I know it's kind of a cop out in many stories to say that a character 'doesn't like labels' since it takes away representation for those of us who do. But, I genuinely don't feel like Dib would...care? He's like "my one true label is Paranormal Investigator" and that is all I need. Everything else is meh. 
> 
> Also, I often see people depicting ZIM's mouth burning when he kisses people (mostly Dib) because of the whole water/rain thing. But, it's canon (I THINK either in the commentary or at a con?? but I know it comes from JV) that it's the pollutants in the water that cause the burning. And idk I just don't see Dib's saliva being chock full of the stuff. So, nothing here but gross makeouts. 
> 
> Once again, I am a bad editor and I know I can ask others to beta/edit for me but tbh I am too impatient so here ya go.   
> Thanks for the lovely comments and kudos!! <3

Zim’s tongue was in his mouth.

Zim’s tongue was totally in his mouth and Dib couldn’t have been happier even if the Loch Ness Monster had decided to do a live interview with CNN.

It was tentative; prehensile and thin. It explored Dib’s mouth like a unknown land, roved over blunt teeth, slipped along his own tongue which tried to copy its movements. Sliding until it edged the back of his throat. And instead of wanting to gag, Dib just wanted more.

The alien's fingers were digging into his shirt, clawing their way up his chest and back until they were digging into his cheeks. Holding him there, as if Dib would ever want to get away. The irken was making these breathless desperate noises as he attacked the his mouth. Zim had no nose and no other way to get oxygen so, the kiss was sporadically interrupted by gasps where their lips barely separated.

If there was such a thing as kissing experts they would probably give the two of them a firm 2/10 for technique. It was too teethy, too much tongue, too fast or too slow. Their only true practice had been with each other. But, neither minded the messiness. It was intense and slightly gross, which was pretty much their relationship in four words.

Dib ran his hands across Zim’s lower back, sliding up until he reached resistance in the form of his Pak. He reverently massaged where the smooth, slightly heated metal met flesh and was rewarded with a short, sweet moan. He’d never heard the irken make that noise before. It electrified him and made him want to hear it again. An undeniable heat pooled between his legs. He moaned back in response. The irken squirmed in his lap, pressing back into his hands, pressing down into the stiffness between his legs.

Dib swallowed and nearly moaned again because he could feel the alien’s tongue still edging along, and tried to pull away. Key word: tried. Zim kept him in a iron hold and continued to try and rage war against his mouth. The human was caught between laughing and letting it go on because the sensations were so heady. He shivered as Zim bit down on his bottom lip, before he reached up and grabbed the irkens wrists, pulling them apart.

Dib leaned back until their mouths separated. “Hey, whoa. Okay.” He murmured.

Zim whined, sounding absolutely wrecked. “Stop talking.”

Dib snorted softly. “You always want me to stop talking.”

“Yes, because you’re much more pleasant when you’re quiet. That is why kissing is so nice, yes?” The irken leaned back in to rub their faces together (as if he couldn’t get enough of them touching), cheek to cheek, nose to...well, the little flat plane on his own. Dib allowed it. Zim reminded him of a cat when he was like this. Now that he’d accepted the act of kissing as something safe, he’d attacked the subject with enthusiasm. It made him quite docile at times.

“Sure.” He agreed, just for the sake of keeping the irken pliant and pleased in his lap. “But, I think we’re verging on territory we haven’t touched yet.” He felt Zim’s antenna brushing through his hair.

“And what might that be, Dib-pet?”

Dib rolled his eyes at the annoying add-on. “I’m in a good mood so you’ll get away with it this time, but say that again and I’ll,” He was cut off by Zim’s mouth.

“Sh. Sh. Sh.” The irken shushed between each messy kiss.

Dib snorted and pulled away, despite the giddiness he felt each time Zim initiated things. “Can I talk, please?”

Zim gave a world weary sigh. “I suppose.”

“Thank you.” Dib said, primly. “I was just saying that things between us have been getting much more...intense recently.” He noted the irken’s blank look. “Kissing wise. And it feels like maybe we’re heading somewhere...bigger? And I’m sure you have no idea what I’m talking about. But, uh I don’t really want a replay of how...well, everything else has been before this.” He was referring to the first time he’d touched Zim gently. How Zim make a sound like an angry hiss, he’d nearly clawed Dib’s hand off in reaction. How their first kiss had been angry and impulsive and maybe had nearly ruined everything that was good between them. “And before this gets much further I want to talk about it.”

Zim’s forehead was furrowed. “You are...talking about sex?”

Dib stared. “Okay. Um, holy crap? How--?”

The irken rolled his eyes. “As if, this entire planet isn’t practically obsessed with it. It permeates every advertisement and every product, every tv show, every interaction. It’s disgusting and pathetic. But, obvious. Google is one of the least awful things you humans have made. I, reluctantly (I might add), have a thorough education on the subject. Did you really not think I understood what sex was?”

The human blinked. “Well...considering the fact that you didn’t know what rain was, I was pretty confident that you were ignorant on the subject, yeah.”

Zim scowled. “You always throw that in my face.”

Dib shrugged, unrepentant. “So yeah, sex. I guess.”

And it was awkward. But, maybe not as awkward as it might have been had ZIM been human or if he’d been completely ignorant on the subject. But, also it was necessary. Like a real couple, he said to himself. They had to talk like a real couple. Which they were. Even if they were not exactly traditional.

“What about it?” Zim crossed his arms over his chest.

“Well...” First things first. “What DO you know about it? Because no offense, Google isn’t exactly infallible. And you’re...well, sometimes you can be a bit naive.”

Zim’s scowl deepened. He looked over at the bedside table, leaned over Dib to grab something before he shoved it in the human’s hands. Dib clutched it by instinct and felt the cool porcelain of the **‘World’s Biggest Head** ’ mug. He rolled his eyes but, held onto it as recompense for his actions. “I said, ‘no offense’.”

The irken ignored him. “I know it’s main function is reproduction. I know this doesn’t mean humans don’t do it all the time, every where and with whoever they want and come up with a variety of ways to make sure reproduction doesn’t transpire. I know there are large amounts of industries surrounding it. Including a vast network of videos and pictures. I know there are people out there who do it for a living and despite the sheer amount of sex in your society, it's still seen as something criminal which seems hypocritical and stupid. I know it’s gross.” Zim shuddered at the remembered fluids. “And seems painful and loud.” He poked the human’s chest. “What do YOU know?”

Dib twirled the mug in his hands. “All of that. And also that it can be, yanno, nice, too.”

Zim glowered. “And how...how would you know this?” He stiffened, expression suddenly turning rather murderous. “Have you--?!”

“No! No. No, I haven’t. I just...I know it can be nice. I mean, why else would people do it all the time, right?” He watched the irken relax, plucking at the fabric of Dib’s shirt and trying to pretend like he hadn’t just nearly had a jealous fit. “I mean, I’m sure it CAN be gross and painful. But, I know it can be...not those things, too. Like the opposite. When it's with the right person, maybe?” He shrugged, trying for nonchalant.

Zim was quiet, brow still furrowed, as he stared hard at Dib’s shirt. The human let the silence go on for a bit. A cool breeze came in from the open window. It had just rained not that long ago and instead of harsh city pollutants, it smelt like grass and atmosphere. Birds chirped and cars drove. The sunset broke beyond hazy grey clouds and painted everything in a kind of ethereal gold.

“Does all this talk mean...you want to...to do sex? With me?” The words were confused and stilted and maybe outside of the situation they would be humorous but, to Dib they were sad and pulled on his stomach, filled him with equal parts dread and hope. He bit his lip, tried to be honest without his voice breaking.

“I mean. Yeah? But, only if...only if you want to. Obviously.” Zim still looked heartbreakingly confused so, he continued. “Look, Zim...I...” He hadn’t even said anything and his face felt like it was on fire. “I’ve never really...cared at all. About sex. I thought for a long time that I would just like, get with a girl one day to have kids because that was...what I was expected to do and it would be fine. Except, I literally had no feelings about it. Because I didn’t have feelings about a lot of things. Before you. I questioned for a long time if I liked girls or boys or both. Or maybe just no one at all. I thought I was...broken.” He swallowed and felt Zim’s grip on him tighten.

“I’ve never seen someone and thought, yeah. I want to have sex with them. I’ve never felt...this. This heavy feeling in my veins. The urge to just get close and keep getting close. Like I want to climb inside someone and live in them, because I want them so badly. I’ve never wanted to touch and explore every part of someone's body.” He let the mug go and grabbed both of Zim’s hands. “Not until you. You make me feel so alive, Zim. And you...I want you. You make my pathetic human body ache with it.”

His heart was beating way too fast, he was sure Zim could hear it loud and clear. “I want to try. With you. But, slow. We...we don’t need to dive right the fuck in. We have time. We can take our time.”

Silence. And it was heavy. Dib nearly held his breath as he waited for the irken’s response. The irken who looked so unfairly good in the fading gold light.

Zim whose claws curled into the human’s shirt, sighed and shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what was happening to him, before he looked up. Their eyes met and held. Zim would never admit how his spooch skipped probably three beats at the sight of the earth’s sun as it haloed the human, how those equally as gold eyes stared at him as if he was the only thing worth looking at.

Zim swallowed with some difficulty. “How?”

* * *

 

 It starts slow.

But, Dib is okay with that. Everything up to this point has been slow so why not this? It had taken a whole year for Zim to admit they were dating so, Dib didn’t doubt that anything like this would take time.

It starts with more making out, with touching each other through their clothes, curious hands trailing down spines and legs. With lips gliding along necks, teeth digging into flesh.

It starts with lying in the backyard, sunshine falling across their intertwined bodies.

It starts with Dib, snarling and protective against an enemy’s attempt to harm them and Zim pressing up against him desperately once their safe, biting into each other’s mouths.

With lying on the couch while some cheap horror movie plays and accidentally grinding up against each other. It turns into very deliberate, very quickly.

It starts with ZIM frotting against his leg and lots of moaning into each other’s mouths.

It never reaches the point of climax. It’s too new, too embarrassing. It’s ZIM who still jumps away sometimes, as if he’s been burnt. As if he’s suddenly deeply certain that there are malicious eyes on them. Dib never pushes, always does his best to ease these fears with whispered reassurances and careful touches.

It's ZIM who literally has no idea what his body is doing, what it likes or dislikes. He’s learning it, right alongside Dib. It’s curiosity and unimaginable passion and comfort.

* * *

 

 It truly starts at two in the morning on a Tuesday, with a full moon.

Zim climbed through the window like he’d done a hundred times and curls up against a warm, sleeping Dib. Lazy kisses designed to awaken, turn to equally as lazy making out. Dib, still hazy from pleasant dreams, just barely slipping under the irken’s shirt until he brushes skin. Feeling the pleased shudder work through both their frames, he kissed his way up Zim’s face, dropping them on eyelids, cheekbones, the middle of his face.

He whispered, “Have you ever...touched yourself?”

Zim leaned back, confused. “Touched...?” His voice is way too loud in the darkness.

Dib shook his head. “I don’t know why I asked that. I know you haven’t.”

The irken squinted at him for a moment before it hit him. “Oh. No. No. That’s...disgusting.” And it shoudn’t come out like a question. Like he’s asking for confirmation. It used to be so clear. No one would ever dare do something like that. They’d cut off your hands before they deactivated you.

Dib huffed, still running his fingers over the alien’s spine, counting vertebrae in his mind. “It’s not. I have.”

Zim buried his face in Dib’s neck. “Oh.” Such a thought SHOULD be disgusting. But, it’s not. Because it’s Dib. And he couldn’t help but picture it. What that hardness in between the human's legs he felt sometimes, might look like, might feel like.

“Lots of humans do. It...it’s actually healthy. It relieves stress and releases all kinds of good chemicals. And it feels good, of course.”

“Uh huh.” Zim murmured.

“You okay?” Dib asked, rubbing his thumb where skin and pak met. Zim let out a low whine and he nodded against the human’s throat. He could hear the human’s pulse. Faster than usual, heavy against the skin. He wanted to taste it. So, he did. He could do that now. Sucking and licking, mouthing against the heat. He treasured the breathy moan he got in return, felt it under his tongue. Zim didn’t even notice how he moaned in return.

“Do you...” Dib panted, one hand ran along the seam of the pak, the other tracing every crease and curve in the metal’s exterior. “Do you want to?”

Zim swallowed against the flesh in his mouth, he bit gently before releasing it. He was sure he was shaking. “Sh-show me.”

And he was terrified. Zim would never admit it. But, he was so afraid even if he knew it was unfounded. No one would be coming for him. And yet, distantly he was certain that they were there; unfeeling, all knowing machines that passed judgment without mercy.

But, he also felt heavy and hot. It swam in his veins, made him light headed and hazy. He felt wanted and thrilled with every touch, every kiss. Dib made him feel so good that it drowned the fear, made it seem insignificant in comparison. He just wanted more of it, of all of it.

But, Dib knew Zim. Could sense the underlying terror and took it into account. He gently lifted them until they were sitting in the darkness. When he spoke his voice didn’t sound like his own (too deep, too gruff). “It’s okay. We aren’t going to do anything that you don’t feel comfortable with.”

Zim’s grip on him tightened. “Shut up, Dib-smell. Just...show me.”

The insult assured Dib that things were alright. “Okay. Okay.” He was nervous too. But, also blindly excited. “We’re...we don’t have to touch each other, yeah? I just...I want you to know your own body. And this, this could be a chance for observation, right? You don’t just dive into an experiment without gathering background information. You need data.”

Zim licked his lips and nodded. A science experiment. He could do that. He HAD done that.

He watched the human take off his shirt and drop it on the ground. He’d seen Dib’s upper half before, of course. It never failed to make his body buzz and thrum. The human was covered in tiny scars (some which Zim had caused), in freckles and a couple of moles. He was lithe and muscular with a not quite flat belly and a strange smattering of black hair leading from his ‘belly button’ (stupid name) to disappear below his ridiculous boxer shorts. The strange little nubs on his chest were small and dark.

Zim clenched his fists. He’d touched all of it before but, he wanted to touch it again.

Dib cleared his throat. “Still alright?”

The irken scowled and grabbed the edge of his own shirt and tugged it over his head, throwing it in the human’s face.

Dib breathed a quick laugh, shoving the fabric to the floor and doing his own observation. He’d also seen Zim’s upper half. But, much more rarely. The irken had his own share of scars. They were faint and dark and Dib knew they had to have been from very bad injuries to have scarred at all since irken healing was so impressive. Over time he’d collected the stories to each of them.

Zim was...well, his body was alien. Without nipples or belly button, bones obviously placed differently than his own. He wasn’t thin or fat. But, built sturdy and strong with wide hips. And yes, there were some freckles on his skin. They weren’t brown or even one solid shade. They were pink and blue and some dark green and spread along his arms and shoulders. They reminded him of rainbow sprinkles.

Dib knew it was his turn again. He hooked the waistband of his boxers under his thumbs and with a little bit of difficulty, tugged them down until they were gone. His hands shook slightly and he knew his face and shoulders were probably bright red knowing that Zim was watching him.

The irken ate up each revealed inch of skin eagerly. More dark hair, more scars. And nestled between pale thighs was the thing he’d felt poking hard into his hips and back and front, more than once. It was...Zim’s only frame of reference was that of the internet but, he thought Dib was much better than anything he’d seen before. Rosy red and curled against the crease of Dib’s body.

Zim felt like he was on fire. He knew all the proper words, has researched them extensively. Penis and scrotum, foreskin and testicles etc, but all the strange charts had not prepared him. For it was strange and scary and Zim still wanted to touch it.

“Alright, spaceboy?” Dib said, despite the risk of getting more clothes thrown at his face. The alien looked wide eyed and his face was covered in a lovely pink flush.

Zim just nodded and tried not to hyperventilate or implode with desire as he followed in the human’s footsteps. His leggings required more effort but, soon they too were lying on the bedroom floor.

Dib, on the other hand, had no handy charts to google. For all he knew charts of irken reproductive systems didn’t exist. They could’ve been marked as unimportant and erased a long time ago. All he had was what was in front of him right now. And Dib thought he was a very open minded individual and he had been prepared for just about anything that might have been between the irken’s thighs. This...this wasn’t scary like some of his expectations. It wasn’t humanoid. It looked nothing like a penis or a vulva. In fact, at first glance it didn’t look like much of anything.

In the light of the moon he could make it out; several folds of skin overlapping each other in a circular formation. The first thing that popped into his head was the top of an unbloomed flower. Maybe a rose or a lilly. They were mostly the same color of Zim’s skin, but slightly darker and the edges seemed to be almost pink.

Dib wondered if he could make it bloom.

He cleared his throat and figured that he was probably the biggest xenophile in the universe because far from being turned off by any of this, he felt himself just grow harder.

Zim pressed his legs together to hide himself. “How uh, how do we proceed?”

“You sure you want to?”

“Yes, for the love of Irk!” Zim threw his hands in the air. “Dib, you know me, yes? If I do not like something have I ever been unclear?”

Dib blinked then thought. That was true, he supposed. And it was especially true, between the two of them. Zim sometimes tried to hide his true feelings behind fake pleasantries but, never with Dib. Zim was loud and obnoxious and very vocal about when he didn’t want to do something or be somewhere.

"You’re right. Okay. I um, we proceed by...well,” He jumped feet first. Dib took a deep breath and grabbed himself around the base, slowly pulling up the length of it and watching the irken for any reaction. The touch sent a shiver of pleasure down his spine and he hissed in relief.

Zim swallowed hard and merely watched for a few seconds. It obviously felt good. Dib’s eyes had fallen half mast and had darkened. His hand pulled and tugged and was there was glisten of something on top? Yes, of course there was. It was semen, his brain mentally added. He tried to put all of this into some context, to make it scientific but, there was nothing scientific about the low groan Dib made. Zim felt his body shudder in response.

“Come on, spaceboy. Touch yourself.”

The human’s voice was low and commanding and Zim’s breath hitched which was incredibly stupid. But, he obeyed and let his own fingers hover between his thighs, unsure. The folds were warm and as he watched Dib, they felt heavy. He was so used to ignoring any sensations, of pretending like the stuff between his legs didn’t exist, that to suddenly brush against it, felt like too much, causing him to jerk. He took a deep breath and pressed back, a bit firmer. Irk, it was sensitive. He was actually a bit astounded. The only time he’d ever seen himself, ever glanced between his thighs, the folds had always been stiff and closed tightly together. Now they were quite...soft.

He watched Dib. Watched him pull his foreskin down with another sharp tug. As if he liked being rough with himself. Watched the human’s throat as it bobbed with each swallow. Watched those golden eyes, now so dark brown they were basically black as they watched him right back. Zim whimpered and beneath his fingertips felt the folds open. They curled back and--

Too much. This was way too much. Zim yanked his hand back and covered his eyes to avoid seeing any of it.

He heard Dib’s sharp gasp and how it cut off. Heard him swallow and try to get his breathing under control.

“Zim?” Irk. His voice was deep and rumbled through Zim like thunder. And thunder meant so many different things to him now. It meant danger and pain of future rain but, it also meant safety. He would be with Dib for the duration of any storm, folded into his arms. “Zim, are you okay? We can stop, you know?”

Zim nodded. To being okay. To stopping. He was afraid, he felt alone. He didn’t want to experiment on himself. His own body was strange and confusing and--

Gentle hands curled around his wrists. They didn’t pull or tug, just held on. “Hey. Zim?”

“What?” He grumbled, feeling vulnerable and pathetic. The human’s lips were warm as they placed soft kisses on the back of his hands.

“Can I just say that I think you’re amazing?”  

He dropped his hands to look at the human. “What?”

Dib’s face was relaxed with only a subtle flush to betray what he’d just been doing. That and his still slight hard on. Zim averted his eyes.

“I said, I think you’re amazing.”

The irken lifted his chin. “And why might that be, human?”

Dib grinned at the return of the haughtiness. He rubbed small circles on his partner's wrist. He thought Zim was amazing because of how far he’d come in rewriting the brainwashing the empire had done to him. In learning to accept touch and comfort and love. Zim was amazing because he was absolutely gorgeous. Dib had yet to see fully the extent of his genitals but, he was sure they would be just as beautiful.

“You just are.” Because he didn’t know if he could say all the words or if Zim would accept them. “Can I ask...what made you uncomfortable?”

Zim let his eyes fall to their hands. He shrugged, as if it was no big deal. And it was a testament to how far they had come that it didn’t take a full minute before he was telling the truth, even if stiffly. “I just...felt weird. It’s...I don’t want to experiment by myself. My...my body is still so...strange to me. It’s...I don’t know what to do. Where to start and it's not...” He huffed, irate. “I want to touch you. I don’t...I don’t...” Zim suddenly fell forward and buried his face in Dib’s chest, to hide from his own words. “I don’t know what I’m doing. It still feels like they’ll know. And I’m...” He shook his head, antenna flat against his head. “,scared.”

Dib released the irken’s wrists to run his hands down his back, stopping just under his pak. “It’s okay, Zim...” He murmured. “This...this was a huge step.” He let his own head rest on Zim’s. “No one is going to hurt us. So, this didn’t work. That’s alright. I’d love to see you comfortable with your own body one day. But, we have time. I still...I still want you. Are you...do you still want this?”

Silence. Zim sat up and looked the human in the eyes before grabbing his face, thumbs stroking under his eyes. “Yes, you bumbling fool.”

Dib grinned. He let himself savor the feel of naked skin under his hands. Even if no sex happened tonight, he was 100% okay just touching Zim. “So...you didn’t like to experiment on yourself. You’re slightly afraid of your own body. Neither of us know what you might like or dislike. But, we don’t want to just jump head first into anything too big yet, either.” Zim watched him, watched the gears turning in that big head, as he blabbered. Irk, he was annoying. But, his spooch swelled with a familiar feeling of fullness and affection. “I’m guessing that you probably still aren’t too fond of too many germs or fluids getting involved either.” Zim shuddered at the words. “Yeah, didn’t think so. Hmm...I have an idea. Do you trust me?”

The irken ran his hands up until they were buried in dark messy hair. “Usually.”

Dib leaned forwards until their foreheads touched and Zim’s antenna could brush through the human’s hair as well.


End file.
